It was the Butler with the Knife in the Library, right? Well, we get to find out who Hollywood decides to be the killer in everyone’s favorite mystery board game, Clue, as it sounds like it will be back on the big screen. All the talk of Professor Plum and Mrs. Peacock got us thinking about other board games that would make great movies. Do we really need to suffer through another corny remake? Of course not, so here’s some free ideas for all the screen writers out there:
Hippo
Hungry Hippos – If Hollywood can make monsters out of dogs, sharks and alligators, why not hippos? They kill more people worldwide than any other animal. Just imagine a family on an African safari gone bad. Their only hope for escape is feed them the other families in the truck. Hey, It can’t be worse than Anaconda.
Chutes and Ladders – Unlucky protagonists must climb up an endless string of ladders. At the bottom of the chutes is torture and, ultimately, death. Think Cube meets Hostel, only cuter.
Candyland – It’s Willie Wonka meets Shrek. What kid wouldn’t want to live in a land of lollipops and gumdrops, hanging out with Gramma Nut, Princess Fostine, Lord Licorice, and Mr. Mint? However, sometimes things might not be full of chocolate and spice when the Molasses Monster tries to take over the land. Plus, you could sell an ass-load of chocolate action figures.
Monopoly
Monopoly — A day in the life of a slumlord who drives around in a pewter car…or a thimble for some reason. His time in jail would be a nice flashback in the second act.
Mall Madness – It’s Mean Girls meets Confessions of a Shopaholic meets Clueless. Just another teen flick involving gossip, friendship, and of course…shopping.
Risk
Risk – Napoleon finally returns after his debut in Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, but this time he pushes his water park designing aside to try and take over the world again. Then he gets bored half-way through and goes to watch cartoons.